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The Pixie Express! 30th of August 2014

8/30/2014

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In a move which is bound to lead the rest of Europe, the Western Pixie Kingdom of Just Outside Kiel have announced their refusal to steal any further oil or gas from Russian pipelines. The small pixie kingdom has relied on stolen oil and gas reserves since 1992 for heating and lighting their pixie village. But no more! The illegal taps have been shut down at the order of their Pixie King, Henri the 37th.

We’ve received third hand fairly recent quotations, possibly even accurate, from the Just Outside of Kiel monarch. Where are they now? I think I wrote them down on some bubble gum paper. Ah, here they are:

 “We’ve heard that the Russian leader, Puddle Duck, has been mean to people and a bit of a bully, so we won’t be stealing his oil anymore.” King Henry is reported to have said.

Further reports just in from the Just Outside of Kiel, Clever Technical Stuff Working Group, tell of moves to tap the reserves of a US military frigate docked not far from the pixie village, thus eliminating any future dependence on Russian produced hydrocarbons.

“We just have to find a really, really long hose in case the ship decides to sail off somewhere.” Head of the Clever Technical Stuff Working Group, pixie Longthought, offered.

In moves which mirror the initiative of the Just Outside of Kiel Kingdom, French Pixie groups have quickly moved to follow suit and have also turned off the taps refusing further theft.

“We are going nucléaire, and stealing from our local French power plant instead. We will not be out done by the German Pixie.” One source is reported to have said.

Elsewhere in Europe solar and wind plants are being tapped for their energy. The Welsh pixie have apparently returned to burning coal in the short term. “We don’t even need to steal it, it’s just lying around on the ground.”

Meanwhile Russian Pixie groups remain glum and despondent with no comment forthcoming. Neither has any reply been made by the Russian leader, Puddle Duck, regarding the Western Pixie actions.


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