Having ‘borrowed’ a human cell phone and doctored the internals so that it no longer registers for billing (we’ll leave it like that when we return it) we were able to contact the Just Outside Kiel monarch, Henri the 37th, for an exclusive interview. King Henri is the originator of the protest against the Russian leader, Puddle Duck, and is attributed with great leadership in uniting the pixie for this cause.
“King Henri, what inspired you to start the ‘we won’t take any more Russian oil or gas’ movement?”
“Well, totally nameless Pixie Express interviewer, our pixie village is across from a human house with a nice little window where we can see a human television set. We were watching the BBC when we heard about the Russian leader, Puddle Duck, being mean to people. We thought that that wasn’t very nice, and wondered what we could do about it. The only thing Russian around here is the Russian oil and gas that we used to steal to light and warm our pixie village. So in protest we decided to stop that immediately.”
“But what do you do now instead? Isn’t this a great hardship on your people?”
“Not so much, it’s still summer here, the nights are getting a bit cool, but we are finding other human power supplies that we can steal from in preparation for winter. We were able to ‘acquire’ a hoard of diesel petroleum from an American frigate before it sailed away. That should do us for many months. Being near a seaport many non-Russian vessels frequent here, so we have decided to only steal from those. The Pixie Kingdom of Just Outside Kiel will manage our way through.”
“Our Pixie tabulators have calculated the financial impact of the European Pixie boycott on Russia,” King Henri volunteered, “our estimates are that the combined effect of all the pixies in Europe no longer stealing Russian oil or gas is 197.23 Euro per month!”
“That sounds like a substantial amount!”
“Yes indeed! Per month, mind you, it adds up. We believe the Russians will stand up and take notice of the Pixie protest.”
In other news, when informed of the Pixie boycott and its estimated impact, the British Prime Minister’s reaction was: ”What?”.
The U.S. President, Banana, was even more taken aback, his reaction was “You’re kidding, right?”
Most interesting has been the Russian leader, Puddle Duck’s reaction to the embargo. Puddle Duck had remained silent on the issue until now. When this reporter had bypassed Russian security pigbacking the cell phone carrier wave on a Siberian emergency line to the Kremlin, the Russian leader’s reaction, in an exclusive interview, was “Vhat?” before my illegal tap was found by post-KGB secret police and terminated.
Further developments on the pixienet will be reported here as they happen.