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Bullying

7/13/2014

1 Comment

 
I want people to know that I’m here now, that I got past all that, that life got better. I kept going and it got better. I almost stopped, many, many times, but I didn’t, I found reasons to keep going. It probably wasn’t until I was 20, but it got better. Everyone should know that. I built a life that I enjoyed. I excelled at being a nerd, and I built companies, I write books. I have a wife and kids. Life got really good. But it took a long time.

I must have been 38. I’m 51 now. But when I was 38 I took my son to visit the new high school he was going to attend, it was in Australia, high school starts in year 7 there. I had a panic attack. I thought I was over it all, but it turns out it was just there in the background. Not for my son, his life was better.

I went to Junior High and Senior High in Canada. Senior high was not okay, but I got through it. It was better than it had been. I was happy to be ignored, to have next to no interaction, I was happy to be left alone.  But that’s crap, I wasn’t happy at all. I just wanted to be left alone. That was enough, it was better than Junior High - that was absolute crap, that was shit.

I just want kids to know that it can get better. When you get older you get to make choices. You can choose to leave, I did, and it was better. Sometimes you’re just in a shit place, it really is, and it’s better somewhere else. Australia was better for me. Hang out until then. Find your place to escape to until then, even if it’s just in your mind; stay strong within yourself. Books helped me, God helped me too (as cheesy as that sounds). I learned to escape. That’s what got me through.

Life can get better. It can take a while, but the day can come when you can make it better. When you get old enough you get that choice. I’m still here. I was really alone for many years, but I made it past that, I found people to love and who love me. My parents had been there, they hadn’t understood, they didn’t know, they couldn’t do much back then. I had to keep going, it was me. Eventually it was me who had to make a new life. It took three years beyond Senior High School, but I did it. I know you can do it to.

I had cancer when I was 46, funny, I wasn’t afraid in the least. I’d had a good life, I just thought that everything I’d lived through in recent years was bonus. Life was shit before that. I’d made it through though, and life got better. Every day now is just a bonus. Keep going, you’ll be stronger than you ever realise. Stronger than most. Stronger than anyone. Don’t let them win, those others, they don’t give a crap, they don’t even notice, but then again they don’t really count for a hell of a lot. Make a new life for yourself, away from the crap. Make yourself, you’ll be able to, just keep going and you’ll make it.

1 Comment
Lockie
7/17/2014 01:20:11 am

Well that took a lot of courage Scott. I'm sorry you were bullied. We all know someone who was /is bullied in school, and sometimes in grown up life too. Some folks are the bully. I know I remember being one to a boy in the neighborhood. We (my friends and I) would tease and torment him something fierce, and not let up until we got him crying, just because he was touched. That's what we used to say. aw don't worry about Dale, he's touched. It wasn't until one day when my friends were not around and I saw Dale playing all by himself, like he always did. Dale and I became good friends after that day. Nobody EVER made fun of him again, at least not as long as I was around.Even now, 45 years later, I still feel the shame that I was a bully. We all need to do something to stop this bad thing from happening.

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